One of the first major steps we all must take if we are to become all we can be is to give up pleasing others. We simply can’t find our uniqueness when we are altering ourselves to win the favor and support of other people.
But, how can you know if you are truly owning your life or pleasing others? And, if you are still pleasing others as your means of securing your life, how can you begin to shift to greater independence?
Take out your calendar. Look at your schedule for next week. First, color code in green all of your appointments that you want to keep. Be careful not to fool yourself. Check to see if each event is something you look forward to doing. Next, color code in red each event that you dread, have set up because someone else pressured you or you scheduled because you were afraid of being excluded.
Hopefully, you will have color coded most of your appointments. Now, I encourage you to color all the remaining ones red. You might object to this, but you clearly didn’t have a full “yes” to these events or you would have colored them green.
Step back and look at your calendar. How much of your time are you doing what you choose versus what others are choosing for you?
Now, here is the step that takes courage. Cancel some of the red appointments. See what happens. Notice if you have a greater sense of power as a result of managing your own life. I encourage you to keep this up over the next few months until you have no red on your calendar at all.