Sam is a great man. He has worked at the same job for 12 years. Over that time he has significantly contributed to his firm’s success. He has watched others make a great deal of money from that success and has felt overlooked and unappreciated. He is a quiet man who tends to mind his own business. He has a serious demeanor.
His reviews have all been positive. People appreciate him for his talent and contribution and while he has had bumps in his salary and role, it has never felt fair. He wants to be recognized. He wants to be seen for who he is. At times, his disappointment has led to frustration and to flashes of anger when his requests for better compensation are denied.
Unfortunately, Sam had fallen into a “victim” way of seeing his life. He forgot that he was 100% responsible for his life; both his great successes and his current limitations. But, as he awakened to this truth, things began to change. He stopped complaining and focused on being even more useful. He gave up feeling resentful and considered himself one of the team.
Gradually, people noticed the change. They no longer saw him as talented but discontented. He was given opportunity to participate in a new and exciting product the firm was launching. Sam was thrilled to be given the chance to be on this new team, but still has vestiges of feeling like a victim. He worries that they will extract value from his contributions and then dismiss him. All he wanted was to be valued for who he is.
Every time he felt at the effect of others, he shifted to taking responsibility for attaining his goals. Instead of worrying about being cut from the team, he focused on making himself essential to the success of the project. No one who is essential will be cut. Instead of worrying if his contribution would be recognized, he focused on the amount of his contribution. Even if everyone took credit for his work, as long as his work was creating the success, in the end he would be wildly successful.
Finally, he took on making himself more likeable. He realized that being qualified is not all that is necessary to create the success he desired. Being qualified to be someone’s mate doesn’t replace that person liking you enough to marry you. He invited others on the team to dinner at his house. This was not a typical choice for him. He usually separated work life from home life. But, he noticed that as he broke down that barrier, his teammates were friendlier at work and seemed to enjoy his company more.
Sam created the success he knew he deserved. He shifted from demanding recognition from others to creating value.
Do you know what is even greater about Sam? Even more important than his work is his love for his family. When he talks about his wife and four children he beams from ear to ear. Sam has his priorities straight. He knows what is really important in life.