Something is wrong here.
I hear it every day. Actually, many times a day. Something is wrong here. Management made the wrong decision. Management didn’t make any decision. Leadership has no idea how to develop a high performance team. The wrong person was hired…promoted….fired. I didn’t get the recognition I deserved.
The words are different, but the content is the same. Something is wrong!
I have come to wonder how often that is true. Certainly things happen that we don’t like. We don’t always get what we want or that which we expect or even that which seems fair.
Does that make things wrong?
The sense that something is wrong often comes from a very few sources:
- Excessive self-focus. If I can only see how things are affecting me, it is easy to see how things are wrong.
- Dogmatism. If I am excessively committed to being right, it is easy to see how any other point of view seems wrong.
- Fear. If I am feeling insecure and an event stirs up my anxiety, it will feel bad (and therefore, wrong).
We become bigger people when we shift to the perspective that very little (perhaps nothing) is ever wrong. It is what it is. Life is meant to be an adventure. There is nothing certain except change. Change bring surprise. Surprise beings the challenge to learn, to adapt, to struggle, to grow.
Taste is composed of a variety of sensations; sweet, sour, bitter, salty, umami. Each is different. None is wrong or bad. It is the experience of each that enriches our sense of taste and creates the enjoyment of eating.
Isn’t that also the picture of life? There is a place for joy, and fear, and grief, and surprise, and love. Wouldn’t our experience of life be poorer if we could create our own diet of events? Embracing life as it occurs without resistance or judgment matures the soul and enriches the heart.
Practice the discipline of acceptance today:
- Notice what is happening with a bit of distance, as if you were watching a movie.
- Be attentive to your reaction without attaching certainty to it. It I hear some news of an accident and notice I am frightened that a loved one is hurt, notice that I am creating my fear, not the accident.
- Breathe. Breathing creates space from our immediate reaction and allows for conscious choice.
- Choose acceptance. Balance yourself so that no matter what occurs, you can react from a place of strength and calm.
I welcome your feedback after you practice for a while. What do you notice? What other skills help you live with nothing wrong?